Over half the UK population aged 55 or more have hearing loss and this increases to 80% for people 70 years and over¹, yet it remains one of the most difficult health topics to discuss with family and friends.
Whether you’re concerned about a loved one’s hearing or you’re experiencing changes yourself, these conversations can feel awkward, emotional, or even confrontational. But they don’t have to be.
At Scrivens Opticians & Hearing Care, with more than 85 years’ experience as a leading hearing and eye care specialist in the UK, we explain how to recognise the signs of hearing loss and how to start the conversation.
Recognising the signs
Before starting any conversation, it’s important to recognise the subtle signs that hearing loss might be affecting someone you care about. These often include turning the TV volume higher than usual, frequently asking people to repeat themselves, becoming withdrawn and avoiding social gatherings, or resistant to participating in group conversations. You might notice they respond inappropriately to questions or ignore you when their back is turned.
Starting the conversation
- Choose the right moment. Find a quiet, private space when you won’t be interrupted. Avoid bringing up hearing concerns during stressful times or in front of others, as this can feel embarrassing or confrontational.
- Lead with love and concern. Begin by expressing that you care about them and have noticed some changes. Try phrases like “I’ve noticed you seem to be struggling to hear the television lately, and I’m wondering if everything’s okay” rather than “You never listen to me anymore.”
- Be specific about what you’ve observed. Rather than making general statements, mention specific instances. “I noticed at dinner last week that you asked Sarah to repeat herself several times” is more helpful than “You can’t hear anything anymore.”
Common reactions and how to handle them
- Denial is completely normal. Hearing loss often develops gradually, so the person may genuinely not realise the extent of the problem. They might say “Everyone mumbles these days” or “The sound quality on TVs isn’t what it used to be.” Acknowledge their perspective whilst gently persisting with your observations.
- Defensive responses happen too. Some people may feel attacked or embarrassed. If someone becomes defensive, take a step back and reassure them that this isn’t about blame or frustration – it’s about wanting to help them stay connected to the people and activities they love.
- Fear of ageing. Many people associate hearing aids with getting old. It’s worth pointing out that hearing loss affects people of all ages and that modern hearing solutions are virtually invisible and incredibly sophisticated.
Making it about connection, not limitation
Frame the conversation around what they might be missing rather than what’s wrong with them. Talk about how addressing hearing loss can help them:
- Enjoy conversations with grandchildren without strain
- Feel more confident in social situations
- Continue pursuing hobbies like going to the theatre or concerts
- Stay safe by hearing important sounds like alarms or traffic
- Reduce the mental fatigue that comes from straining to hear
Addressing common concerns
- “Hearing aids are ugly and make me look old.” Modern hearing aids are nothing like the bulky devices of decades past. Many are completely invisible when worn, and some can even connect to smartphones for calls and music.
- “They’re too expensive.” While hearing aids are an investment, the NHS provides free hearing tests and hearing aids for those who qualify. Many high street providers also offer payment plans and aftercare packages that make treatment more accessible. For example, at Scrivens all our hearing aids are available with 10 months interest free credit.
- “It won’t make a real difference.” Today’s hearing technology is remarkably advanced. Digital hearing aids can filter background noise, enhance speech and even adapt automatically to different environments. The very latest models utilise Artificial Intelligence (AI) so they continuously learn and adapt to your way of life, resulting in effortless hearing whatever the environment or occasion – from a crowded coffee shop to listening to music.
Practical next steps
Once your loved one is open to the idea, offer to help with practical steps:
- Research local hearing specialists together
- Offer to attend appointments with them
- Help them prepare questions for their audiologist
- Assist with understanding different hearing aid options
Most high street hearing specialists – such as Scrivens Opticians & Hearing Care – offer free hearing assessments, so there’s no pressure to commit to anything immediately. This can be a good way to ease someone into the process.
When you’re the one with hearing loss
If you’re reading this because you suspect your own hearing has changed, consider how you’d want someone to approach you about it. Be honest with yourself about the signs you’ve noticed and remember that seeking help early often leads to better outcomes.
Talk to trusted family members or friends about what you’ve been experiencing. They might have insights you hadn’t considered and having their support can make the journey easier.
The conversation continues
Remember that discussing hearing loss isn’t a one-time conversation. It’s an ongoing dialogue that might happen over weeks or months. Be patient, stay supportive and keep the focus on maintaining the relationships and activities that matter most to your loved one.
Hearing loss doesn’t have to mean missing out on life’s important moments. With the right support and treatment, people with hearing loss can continue to live full, connected lives. Sometimes it just takes one caring conversation to get started.
If you’re concerned about your hearing or would simply like a thorough hearing check, you will find help and advice on our website or alternatively visit your local Scrivens branch. Often, getting help sooner rather than later leads to better outcomes, and there’s absolutely no reason to struggle in silence. We are always here for you!
If you found this article useful, you may also be interested in reading about how hearing loss can impact mental health.
